This time on old.pressklub.az’s project dedicated to those who went missing in the Garabagh war “Şüşə” (Shushe) Alishova from Tartar, Hajigarvand village will be speaking about his son. Alishov Kemaladdin, son of Ehed was his youngest child:

- My name is “Şüşə”, but please, refer to me as “stone mother”. “Şüşə”(means glass in Azerbaijani) would be shattered  to pieces by now, I am more stone for not breaking. I am 80 years old, 29 nine of which I spent waiting for my son to come back and turned to stone because of it. I am also the headstone of his grave that does not exist... My eyes are glued to the roads he may arrive by...

Do you know, what kind of a man the son I am searching is?! The youngest of my 5 children... I provided all my of children with higher education except him, I could not send him to a university. He finished driving school by his own choice. Back then, my job was very tiring as I frequently had to carry grain over to the mill. He said, “Mother, you are too strained with heavy work, I will be a driver and help you.” Every child has a dream about the future. Kemaleddin used to say that his only wish was to help his parents...

He was born in 1973, October 24. He had bone deformation in his arm. It was operated on twice. Professor Beybala Abbasov in “Semashko” hospital operated on him when he was in third and fifth grade. But in 1992 he tore all his hospital documents and joined he army. That is the son I am searching for...

“Don’t go” I said, it angered him. He said, “If you don’t want me to go, put one of your headscarves on my head and keep me here.” Head of the village council told him, “Son, you cannot be a soldier with that arm!” Then he came and told me, “Mother, did you tell him that I can’t join the army? Am I a woman to be sittin around with you? Our motherland is being invaded, how am I supposed to just sit at home?”

They used to hold a dinner party for anyone leaving to join the army. Since the war started we sent them away in a hury. On 19’th of August we sat around the dinner table at the yard, relatives and neighbours who recieved the news of Kemaleddin leaving also joined us. And the next morning we saw him off...

That day passed. On August 30, my son in law Hasan drove over a mine in his tractor and became a martyr. On September 2, on Hasan's third funeral, we heard a noise from outside. Going out, we found Kemaleddin crying with his head against a tree. He said "I had a dream where a dragon was chasing me and Hasan. Hasan ran into a tunnel and the dragon after him." How could we have known that the dragon would then chase after him... and catch him...

Kemaleddin told me at the funeral that for the first time soldiers from the Nationaol army are being sent to a NATO base in Turkey for a few months of training. He was among the highly skilled that were selected for the training. A leiutenant in Turkey asked him where he learnt to aim so well. His father would take him to the shooting gallery all the time. He was specially commended in the trainings and recieved a sum of monetary award. He bought and brought his sister’s 2 year old son a red costume.

My daughter, whose husband died in the war had a 2 year old son. We still have my grandson’s picture in that dress, also a picture of my great grandson in the same dress. We are looking after that costume very well, keeping it in mint condition, so when Kemaleddin comes back we can show him. He can see that we looked after his gift and every child in our line has worn it...

When he returned from Turkey, he had something hanging from his neck, I thought he fashioned some chains and bought it. I said, “Son, what's that you've got hanging around your neck? He said, this metal has my name, surname and blood type engraved on it. His last name was also spelled incorrectly, instead of Alishov, they wrote Acishov. I was surprised, he said that even if I become a martyr, even if I become unrecognizable, they will know from this tag that I am your son. I slapped my hand on my knee and said “Don’t say such things!” He laughed... How beautiful Kemaladdin’s laugh was...

His last visit home was on December 5. He said, "They are sending us to Lachin!" He wrote letters from Lachin.

He was amazed with Lachin. He wrote, "Don’t worry about me, I am in the most beautiful mountains of Azerbaijan... I enjoy the water here... Sorry, I can't write to everyone, can barely find any paper to write on here. Say hello to my grandfather, tell him that your grandson is armed and protecting the homeland..." At the end, he signed: Kamaladdin Lachinli... Then onto a corner he would write to tell us to buy a wedding ring for his arrival. He would keep writing "I will come home through Lachin!"

He wrote his last letter on March 25, 1993. Again, he found a sheet of paper, ripped it in half and wrote on both sides... I don't know, maybe he ripped the paper in two so that another soldier could write a letter home?

In that half paper, he wrote "We will take back Lachin in a month, we are standing strong and waiting for orders"...

A few days after his letter arrived, we received the news of the occupation of Kalbajar. They said, both the people of Kalbajar and the soldiers are crossing Murov. His father went to Hajikend. They registered all those who came there. They checked his name and said that he was not on their list. They pointed to two young soldiers standing outside that came from Kalbajar to ask them as well...

When his father approached, he saw that one of the soldiers had the same dogtag that Kemaladdin was wearing. He showed him Kemaleddin’s picture and asked if they knew him. The soldier said, “Yes,we were trained together in Turkey, and then we served together in Lachin. However, they brought us to Kalbajar in the later days. We had no idea what the situation was like in Kalbajar. When they reached the village of Zulfugarli, they said that the Armenians had captured the tunnel. We had to stay there for the night. At dawn, we arrived at the village of Almalig. A ”ZIL” truck arrived when I was by the river. We suggested everyone that we leave... They said that they were staying, the situation here is tense. So they stayed in the village of Almalig, we both got into the trunk of that car and came out to Murov.

Those soldiers were from Lankaran. Unfortunately, my husband did not ask their names or surnames. He didn't even get their addresses. He thought that Kemaladdin would come back...

He would write in his letter that they were only 10 of them left. Kemaladdin had two cousins among his fellow soldiers. One of them joined the others leaving Kalbajar. He came to us and said: "I saw Kemaladdin, he asked us "Where are you going? Don't you see that our mothers and sisters are being taken captive by Armenians?" I tried very hard to convince him that it was a mess, everyone is packing and leaving for safety, that we should join the others and leave. He said he wouldn’t come, that would simply be running away. Said he promised his mother that he will protect the country. Then he got into the car going to the warzone...

Those who saw him swore that they saw him alive. I went and had a fight with the Deputy Minister of Defense, demanding my son’s whereabouts. He said, "Go, ask the military unit!" I went to the military unit in Tazakend of Aghdam. I asked there if anyone knew Kamaladdin, who joined the army in 1992. A boy named Savalan from Salyan said that he knew him. “Kamaleddin brought 12 wounded soldiers to Murov camp. Then he returned to bring other wounded soldiers. We never knew what happened to him after that...” That soldier told me, myson was a very brave man...

In 1995, when Safar Abiyev was appointed the Minister of Defense, I went to his reception. I saw a soldier at the reception and asked asked:

– Son, where did u serve?

– In Lachin and Kalbajar!

–Which division?

– 701!

My eyes lighted up, it was my son's military unit:

- Do you know Kamaladdin? He has been missing for two years, no news. Please, take a look at his picture...

He took off his glasses:

- My eyes were damaged when I got stuck inside a burning tank. I can’t see. I will not be able to look at the picture.

- Why are you here then?

- I've been coming and going for three months, I can't get admitted...

- What would they know about your blindness? Why won’t you tell them?

- I'm ashamed to say...

I went and knocked on the door and said “Mr. minister, there is a soldier here, he knows my son, I will give up my turn for him.” That soldier found me after leaving the reception. He said, the name Kamaleddin is familiar to him, but he could not be sure if it was the same man...

What I am trying to say is, I have asked everyone I can about my son.  In 1995, they gave him the status of a martyr. We wanted to make him a grave, but my brothers said not to, maybe he would come back someday... We did not give up hope. They visited us from the Red Cross scoiety and the State Commission and took some analyses and tests. They told me, "Please, don’t come to us by yourself anymore, we will inform you." It's not just your son, we're missing so many people...

Many times we thought about going on TV to look for him until recent years. However, we were afraid that he could still be alive, the Armenians would see us on TV and hurt him. Recently, our relative who works in Shusha said that the word Kemaladdin was scratched on the wall of the prison where war prisoners were kept... We hoped that maybe he was still alive...

On October 24, my son will be 49 years old. I invite you all to come! What do you know, maybe Kemaleddin himself will come too? Since 1993, I have been celebrating my son’s birthday everyday on October 24 for exactly 29 years...

Let me tell you the address: We live in Hajigarvand village of Tartar. If you ask anyone there for the house of the mother whose son is missing, everyone, from children to adults, will point you my house... Everyone knows... Our son is the only one from this village that went missing... Many sons from our village went to war. Everyone returned, some safe, some wounded, some in coffins. Exactly six coffins arrived in the village... Some of them belonged to my son's classmates. I am the only one still waiting... The seventh martyr is considered to be my son.

During the Patriotic War, two flag-wrapped coffins came to our village... I said, God, send my child too! Either he should come or... Kalbajar has already been freed, at least send his bones... I will entrust him to the ground, let him be buried... I am 80 years old... His father is 86 years old... Both of us are waiting for Kemaladdin... Come to my son's birthday, we can talk about the rest there…

Note: Materials from the State Commission on Prisoners and the Missing was used as a source in this article.

Vusala Mammadova